Gruesome hit and run fatalities up ahead how awful - I'm late. Alaska's melting - hope your Yukon Denali doubles as a boat. When the light turns green like a leaf on a spring wind the horn blows quickly. There are only three types of drivers - the insane, the morons, and me. April signs of spring - nesting doves, blossoming trees blood-spattered roadkill. Need a few days off after Sunday night drive from the vacation house. Drove six hours to the Mall of America got some McNuggets. Washington D.C. capitol of the free world and of potholes too	Silicon Valley 10% unemployment traffic's much better. Sharp turn to the right - 60-ounce Super Big Gulp winds up in my shoe. According to the news it's another "bad air" day so try not to breathe. LAX pick up Danté never mentioned this tenth circle of hell. My Ford Explorer on a never-ending quest for a parking spot. Highway signs tell of food, gas, lodging and pervert - an Amber Alert! Atlanta traffic easy to see why Sherman burned this city down. The forest's burning but don't worry - we've still got the Toyota Sequoia.
For maximum entertainment value, try reading some of these with the accent of Mr. Miyagi from the movie Karate Kid. Write your own Honku and put it on the Lamppost!